The Exact Same Story, Again.

I’ve written this before, so I don’t care
That Romney vs. Newt is heavy news,
So much that Marco’s statements and his views
Will occupy the headline, everywhere
That politics is spoken. Per the rest
Of all the world, the news is bigger. We
Are worried sick about Iran, and the
Colombians removed, at the behest
Of their new president, their CIA
(they had too many scandals). But the night
Is taken up by Florida and the fight,
And all the commentary, and the fray,
And counting, further counting, and a face
To mark the end of quite a dullish race.

I'm More Like Reagan. No, I'm More Like Reagan.

Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney are fighting it out in Florida over who is the true heir to Reagan conservatism.

Grover Cleveland stayed up 'till 2:00 AM each morning reading bills.  Keep Reagan.  I'll take Cleveland.

I’ve accurately summarized the fight:
“My fellow citizens, I am the man
Whom Reagan would have wanted,” and the panning
Camera will capture any sleight
And all the slight reaction. “No, you’re not,
I am the man that Reagan would desire.”
And each the other parries, calls a liar,
And here denies they’ve weakened, when they’ve fought
Each other, their ability to fight
Barack Obama. I don’t understand
Why Reagan is the standard, for to band
Together all the voters on the right,
When we’ve had better presidents. You may
Keep Reagan; I’ll take Cleveland any day.

Romney's Ahead. I've Done This Story Before.

Summary: You don't need one.

The story is the same; the race, the same.
There’s little variation in the polls
Or in interpretation, or the goals
Of each interpretation, or the claim
That polling is irrelevant, unless
You happen to be winning (if it’s so,
Then polling, is, of course, a greater show
Of accuracy than the whole confess-/ion
Of a hardened criminal). Believe
Whatever you would like about the way
That polling works, or doesn’t; but I say
To all that may say polling will deceive:
Never you fret. The voters are the boss,
And we prefer a recount to a loss.

I Missed A Day. The Sunshine State is Dark, Apparently.

No picture. As I said, I missed a day.  Florida will not go easily to Newt, as Romney looks as if he won the debate, and Cain endorses Newt.  I should mention that this sonnet was finished in no more than nine minutes, as I was trying to catch up. Please be gracious.

I missed a day, but didn’t miss a lot.
Apparently the duel between the two –
The Romney and the Newt, and then the few
Remaining – isn’t much that isn’t got
On afternoon TV, or cable. Fights,
And bitter accusations, and applause,
And commentary, here applied as gauze
To all the missed replies, and lofty heights
Of verbal bloody beatdown was applied
To each the other. Per the audience,
Applauding, or appalled, in its defense,
Was saddened that the candidates had eyed
Each other, rather than Barack. Relax,
This is the process. To the ending, pax.

Fitch Downgrades Several Countries. I Wish I Knew More About How Money Works.

Fitch has downgraded the credit ratings of several countries.

A lot of money isn’t safe. Alas,
Were I investing far beyond my means,
Securing loans, or interest, or liens,
I might begin to understand the mass
Of panic that it’s not creating. Great;
Apparently we’re doomed, yet we are not.
And while I’m not a fan of fear, a lot
Of apathy is dangerous of late,
Especially if apathy’s the cause
Of whatever the hell is causing this –
A fear in loaning (though, perhaps, the Swiss
Might give you confidence). If the applause
Of Fitch is worth the getting, this I know:
The loss of it is quite a heavy blow.

Never Make a Hero. Even if it's Reagan.

Elliot Abrams is decrying Newt Gingrich because Gingrich spent a good deal of time bashing Reagan in the '80s.  Everyone has their heroes.


Dear Mr. Abrams: I am not a fan
Of Gingrich, and if you’d bear that in mind,
I think I can explain why I’m unkind
To most of your analysis. The man
Conservatives revere, the one who won
The war against the Communists (with aid
From Texan Charlie Wilson), unafraid
Of any confrontation, or a gun
Within the hands of any who would fight
Against the Soviets, is very dear
To you, and to Republicans. I fear
That he, though he was very often right
Is, as a hero, not a good idea.
I’ll here explain, beginning with the Shia:

The Reagan Era funded one Hussein
When he attacked Iran, and, using gas
He later used upon the Kurds, alas,
Did decimate the Shia. When the reign
Of rape and murder of the ruling men
Within El Salvador had come to light,
The White House had insisted all was right,
And kept the money coming to ‘em. When
The Colonel sold his missiles, you received
Two misdemeanors. Housing; EPA;
Dear god, it still continues. Fannie Mae
Has nothing on the man who you believed
Has led the world to freedom. We’d do well
To know his good, and send the rest to hell.

A Brief Summary of the SOTU, and the Republican Response

I've never had much patience for inspiring speeches.


The president has given us a speech,
And if I’m not mistaken, it’s the same
As almost all the others, and the game
Within the warring parties is to breach
The rhetoric in each respective side.
“I do not think it’s fair to tax the poor,”
“Nor for the rich!” and so forth, evermore.
“I’m all for jobs,” and “sir, if I may chide
You on your job creation, you have not
Created jobs,” and on the baiting goes.
I wonder at the people in the throes
Of back-and-forth in speeches and the lot
Of energy put forth in saying “we
Are good, but could be better.” Naturally.

It's Not as Easy to Impress When People Stop Saying "Yes, We Can."

Ouch.
I think, that were I strong so very long
As I could muster fans, I’d quickly set
A record for the White House, and I’d bet
The former Speaker, if amidst the throng
Of cheering, could attempt the very same
Maneuvered run that got him up the hill,
Barack Obama. Speaking on the chill
Of audiences who had had to tame
The innermost desire to reveal
Intensity, or anger, or a voice
That, in a cheer, proclaimed to all the choice
For all of them was Newt, I truly feel
That he, propelled to victory on cheering,
Might find his strength too quickly disappearing.

Rand Paul Refuses to Be Groped.

Rand Paul refuses to be groped in an airport.  Although I sympathize, it's not oppression unless it's forced into your homes.  Paul could have easily decided to drive.  Also, Alex Jones is a poor choice of venue.


Dear Mr. Paul – know, though I wish and pray
That it could be your father in the race
For four years in the White House (and to face
The Middle East, and finance, and the fray
That’s coming to the country), this is weak.
That TSA is useless – I agree
(It’s mostly a placebo); that the freedom
We have had is fading, yes; but bleak
Indeed is all our hope for turnaround
If this, an airport grope, is center-front
And poster child for the angry brunt
Of all free peoples, who, awaiting sound
Of leadership, in few uncertain tones,
May give you up if you're on Alex Jones.

Newt Wins. In Other News, I May Have Just Switched Parties for No Related Reason.

Newt wins the SC primary. I'm betting his blunt demeanor towards reporters and questioning may have helped.

I understand how human nature works:
We’ll say that we are principled, that we
Have higher standards for morality
Than all our opposition, and the quirks
That govern our elected are a bane
Upon the human soul if ever in
Elected opposition, or their kin.
The thing that causes our support to wane
Is this, and only this: appearing weak.
We value strength, and for this overlook
A multitude of faults, and if it took
A century, we’d tally all our meek
Humiliations, ready for the day
When we can have our vengeance and our way.

(So we elected Newt.  I hope we can
Remember this if we attack Iran.)

After So Much Drama, the Day After is a Letdown

Newt and Mitt are fighting.

The Romney and the Newt are on attack.
It isn’t quite the circus that I’d thought
It might’ve been, and when we’ve had a lot
Of circuses to watch, a sudden lack
Of drama in campaigning is a shock.
No further acid words, or vitriol,
Or questions on a pride before a fall
To keep the future voters in a lock
To watch the candidates get in a fight
O’er who has got the lesser weakness. Mitt
Is rich, and Gingrich isn’t quite legit-/imate
When all his ethics come to light.
The other two aren’t saying much, and I
Am watching still, and still do not know why.

Newt is Less Interesting than Anonymous

Summary: Newt got mad, and hackers took down several high-profile websites. The second story is much more interesting, but the rule I've set up dictates that the sonnet be about the front-running story. Which is disappointing, because Gingrich getting angry about an interesting but ultimately irrelevant question is little more than a sideshow.

Although it is a curiosity about human nature, that we claim to hold true to our values, and yet are willing to put them by the wayside if it involves siding with someone or something that makes us feel strong, and ends any perceived humiliation we've suffered at the hands of an "other side" or "them."

And now, the poem:

I guess the former Speaker was a bit –
To put it mildly, but truly – pissed
That moderating men could not resist
A question on his character. The fit
Of heady acclamation in return
For his aggressive posture is a sign
That it is not so easy to malign
A man you’ve made a hero. We adjourn
Our values, for a moment, and adore –
Good god, but he is strong! – and strong is all
We ask, and if the hero takes a fall
And yet puts in a passing shot, the more
We love him. Oh, and hackers took the net
In vengeance. That’s a better story yet.

Newt's Ex-Wife is Angry. This is Not a Surprise.

Matt Drudge has apparently scooped the media by announcing someone else's interview. Which, I believe, is a pretty low bar for a scoop...but entertaining, nonetheless.


Miss Marianne is angry, and the Drudge
Is here suggesting it will be the end
Of many donor dollars (for to bend
The mind of those who need a gentle nudge
To cast a vote for someone with a name
That brings to mind a salamander). She
Apparently has spoken caustically
On who will bear the greater share of blame
For his divorce, affair, divorce again,
And so on – but the mantle is his own,
And one he’s worn, and worn down, and re-sewn.
Unless there’s shocking revelation when
Miss Marianne is questioned, this I know:
We gasp, condemn, but get on with the show.

I Hope the Music and Film Industries Have Met Their Match

SOPA and the Protect IP Act are being protested today with massive internet blackouts of popular sites. I'm very glad; though I think people may be overreacting to the bills, I'd much rather err on the side of tech companies, especially after reading about some of the obscenely large fines levied against those who lose lawsuits with RIAA. I trust tech companies far more than the whole of the music industry.

The sonnet I am writing isn’t here;
It has been censored. This, the one you read,
Is very different in its message, creed,
And wording than its predecessor. Fear,
When I had here discussed an item which
Had not provided royalties to he
Or she who had created it, was easily
The greatest way to put a glitch
Within my sonnet, which had here discussed
A bit of music, movies, or TV
That foreign websites had illegally
Uploaded. Per the law, I’d be entrusted
With diverting traffic from the site:
That’s quite impossible, and thus, the fight.

I'm Something of a Libertarian. Sue Me.

Pity me, and all the other poor saps who like Ron Paul.

It’s Mitt, and one who isn’t Mitt. The race
Is evermore decided when the terms
For talking of the race it reaffirms
Are consciously decided, and the face
Of all the papers have, in common, this:
“It’s Mitt, and one who isn’t Mitt.” It’s Mitt,
Therefore, and if a politician, split
Asunder for a time from the abyss
Of common ground (and foe) that voting brings
To a divided country, could advise
The to-be-chosen Romney to be wise
In areas he’s short, I’d say the things
He’d need to read would be from Dr. Paul:
The newsletters excepted, heed it all.

The Government is Inefficient. Rejoice.

Usually, a stymied government is good news to conservatives.

The government is lazy. If I may,
I do believe that this is what we’d hoped:
That all our congresspersons might have coped
With being part of government (astray
From all our principles) by doing jack.
If you dislike bureaucracy, rejoice:
The biggest one in history’s a voice
That isn’t saying anything. Attacking
Democrats, Republicans, Barack,
Tea Partiers, the House, the Senate, too,
Is what the one or other side will do
As this becomes a circus. Let the clock
Run out, don’t interrupt, or keep a score:
With any luck, they won’t do any more.

"Titanic" is More Interesting than the Makers of Titanic

Summary: the first story is news. The second is dull. That's it.


A ship is tipping, someone got a prize.
And that’s the news. I much prefer the ship,
For panic on a boat that’s busy flipping
Is a better story than the highs
Of long and storied film careers. The brake
Was not applied, and gravity is off
And pulling to the left, and now a lofty
Pedestal is one whereon the wake
Of all the sinking ship yet hasn’t hit.
A tragedy, but quite ironic, too -
The captain all his passengers and crew
Abandons, while the dancers, in a bit
Of heroism, rescue all the rest.
It’s far more than an actor can attest.

45-10, 36-32. Ouch, and Too Bad.

Ouch.

I’m sorry, Tim; and Drew (from Texas, too).
If god and country fight, he might decline
Himself a victory, and though the pining
Of the intercessors may accrue
A lot of expectation, it is not
A guarantee that Heaven wins the fight.
Now all the Saints have fallen, and the night
Was taken by a patriotic lot.
So god is trumped by country, Saints by gold.
I wouldn’t fret too much, though; Brady knows
How bad it feels to run amid the throes
Of nearly-perfect victory, and boldly
Have it snatched away. So, pity, flee
(And thank the lord you have a better knee).

Economic Disaster vs. Tim Tebow and Tom Brady

Europe may be screwed. Thank god we have stalwart economy-boosting institutions like professional football. I am not being sarcastic in the least bit.  NASCAR and the NFL keep whole sections of the population afloat.

I missed a headline: “S&P is pissed,”
Or something, I cannot remember much.
I’m far more occupied with how a touch
Of Brady might affect the Tebow list
Of nearly-perfect victory. The match
Is setting up to break a record, while
East of us, the records perish. Smile,
Though the bad economy's a catch
We're periled for, the money's better here
In good, old-fashioned sports. Observe: you win,
You draw the viewers and the money in,
You get the bigger bonus. To be clear:
The Eurozone may never be the same.
Do what you can, and go and watch the game.

One Man's Urine is Another Man's Blasphemy, Just as One Man's Bow is Another Man's Treason

Soldiers urinated on dead Taliban.  Inasmuch as I probably would have done the very same to someone shooting at me, consider the uproar in talk radio when the President appeared to bow before Hu Jintao - it was conversation fodder for weeks, and mentioned for months that extended into years. And that was our reaction to a bow. Imagine the reaction the Mideast could have from a urination.


I’m something of a liberal of late.
It came from too much Rush, or Hannity,
The loss, or gain, of some insanity
That overtook my long beliefs. The hatred
Democrats may have for Beck, or Beck
May have for some Progressive, or Iran,
Is miniscule when set along the span
Of hatreds that engulf the tribal wreck
That we have called Afghanistan (Iraq
And Turkey, too, and several others more).
Their borders cut the lands they’re living for,
And if the freedom could survive the flak
Of ancient hatred, we would be remiss
If we destroyed momentum with a piss.

Big Brother wants their own Myspace page

How this is a surprise or even out of the ordinary is a mystery to me.

Security is watching. This is news
(Apparently), and given that we’ve none
Of all the average musings on the one
Who’ll win the nomination, any views
That may suggest a plot are welcome here
Within the barren headlines. Reader, smile,
Government’s been watching for a while,
Finding out a way to beat a fear
That they will miss an all-important clue
That may prevent catastrophe. Perhaps.
And though I fear their fear as well their lapses
In our own security, to who
Is worried, know you’re absent in their casebook
(Unless you put your terror plans on Facebook).

Told you.

It's Mitt.  No surprise.

We told you so; “exactly as expected”
Is here exactly what is happening.
Within the race, the primary’s the thing,
And all of it is Mitt, and it rejected
Rick the very same way that he rose
(Too quickly). All the easy things are said.
“We’ll keep on pressing on until we’re dead,”
Intone the other candidates, the woes
Of all their donors flying to their books
And seeing all their money burnt away
(More, if they pledge to fight another day.
How sad, the donor’s life). And if it looks
As if the internecine fighting’s done,
Just wait until the bigger race is run.

It's super-exciting to know that everything is exactly as you predicted.

Same story, slightly bored.

Mitt Romney’s still ahead. Nobody cares.
It's never very interesting. We
Will hear the same recycled lines, and be
A bit relieved when every favorite fares
Exactly as we had predicted. Well,
The watching voters now are growing bored.
I’m wishing that I had it all ignored,
As well as all the sophist prolix hell
That comes with early politics. The game
Is anyone’s, and anyone may run.
(Don’t run a business that way; you’d be done
In half a year.) I fear it is the same
With us as with the sport of curling. Know,
Howe’er you dress it up, it’s awfully slow.

Tim Tebow. That is all. Also, he can have Romo's job, if he wishes.

Watch the game, folks.

Dear Tim: a time ago, I was upset
That you had won the Heisman Trophy. See,
I’d held out hope for Colt McCoy, and we
In Texas had upended every bet
On any other player. I was wrong.
I think you may have been the better choice,
Since you keep giving naysayers a voice
They’re better keeping silent, while a throng
Of heady fans, or Jesus, has your back.
And now my only thought is Brady, you,
And one upcoming match, and if a few
And very heartfelt prayers could attack
Your losses, I would say ‘em. It’d please us
If you’d win (it’s gotta be the Jesus).

(I’d also note, if you would care to seek
Another job: take Tony’s, as it’s weak.)

Everyone has a bias. Get over it. You could be living in Pakistan.

Somewhere, in a country filled with actual, true oppression, someone suffering is wishing that the most infuriating issue around were a mildly biased debate host.


Apparently the country is surprised
That someone in the media is biased.
Know the arrows aim at all the highest
And the biggest targets. We devised
A system of political debate
That doesn’t need assassinations, guards,
Or several doctors to remove the shards
Of some positioned bomb from the estate
Of any future president, and this
Is something we have carefully achieved:
That we may angrily be here relieved
Of all our tension and euphoric bliss
At our potential leaders. Biased? Hell,
If we don’t murder, we are doing well.

Mitt Romney's in the lead, and I don't care...

I don't understand how people don't grow incredibly bored with the analysis of American political minutia - which, I suppose, is an odd thing to say for a guy obsessed with writing a daily sonnet. I was far more interested in the story on former Pakistan President Musharraf's return to and pending arrest in Pakistan. He's culpable in the murder of Benazir Bhutto, in what seems a replay of the death of her father Zulfikar Ali Bhutto by, again, the succeeding president of Pakistan, Zia-ul-Haq. Then again, I suppose I should be thankful - the most interesting political story in my country is a gap in the polls. That means that no one is being assassinated, or has been in so long that a gap in the polls is actually considered interesting. I'm sure that, were I in Pakistan, I'd have my fill of interesting stories quite quickly, and be happy to be bored in America again.

Mitt Romney’s in the lead, but I don’t care.
It’s not that I have no concern for country,
Or despair that opposition’s won.  (We
Far too easily give us the scare
With every new election.) Hence, the news,
Where Romney’s lead has occupied the top.
In other news, Pervez Musharaff’s opting
For a bit of jail time, and the views
Upon his culpability are near
To those that haunted Zia. This, I say
Is far more interesting, but I may
Be here forgetting one thing that is clear:
When bigger gaps are news, nobody’s dead.
In Pakistan, elections have your head.

Dear Mr. Rubio, You and Barak Obama are more alike than you realize.

I'm not as impressed.

Dear Mr. Rubio, I read your letter
To the US President. Bravo,
At least where debt’s discussed (and I should know,
I’ve gotten deep within it). But the better
Part of all the vitriol behind
Your courtesy is making me afraid.
You hate excessive spending; good, but laden
In your debt discussion is the blind
And frightening assumption of the Right.
“Obama is our greatest enemy.”
The enemy is us. For though I see
He isn’t great, I know that I am frightened
More, a lot, by what you voted in.
Detention, next to debt, is worse a sin.

So Barak Obama made a decision without Congress...

Ah, subtle Drudge.

To all and any gearing for debate
Upon the constitutionality
Of President Obama’s picks: irate
And angry postings are, to a degree,
Too very pointless. Yes, he did a deed
That hadn’t yet been done, and there the law
Is verily ambiguous. The seed
Of socialist dictatorship is always
Present in a power grab. But hear:
So also there is brilliance. That’s the point:
The law is incomplete until the day
When we give condemnation or anoint
With law a human action that’s unclear.
(That’s how the filibuster did appear.)

Beating the Third Wheel

It’s Romney, Rick, or Paul. Or Donald Trump
(His name was listed in the news, for fun,
Or possibly to make fun, so the runoff
May, in time, like sewage to a sump,
Roll off the candidates, and leave them dry,
And land upon the Donald). Good idea;
Better that the world will never see a
Fight as ugly, or a hate as high
As that within two people much alike
(Or three) when they are trying to convince
The world that they are different. They will mince
No words, nor soften blows, but every strike
Will look much softer if the Trump’s around,
Attracting all the ire to the ground.

Iowa's still really important, and some other things happened.

I looked at all the options. Here you go:

Santorum doesn’t mind a little bill;

Mitt Romney is a liar (if you will

Believe the word of Gingrich, and I know

That that may not be possible); Michelle

Is fighting toe to toe with Perry for

A place that isn’t last; and either war

Or peace, or poverty or living well

(But nothing in between) is the result

Of all the policies of Dr. Paul.

This is the news today, and that is all

(Excepting the Mideast) that an adult

Such as myself has taken interest in:

A game, a bloody fight, and who will win.

(I hope you see the sarcasm therein.)

Iowa is really important, at least if you're winning.

So, Iowa’s important, I suppose,
So long as you can win it.  If you don’t,
And you’ve defection in the camps, you won’t
Imply that it’s the very state you chose
To highlight your electability.
But if you have a surging in the polls,
It’s likely all your previous cajoles
To Democrats, or racist nuttery,
Or any other awful thing you’ve done
Or said will be evaluated, scored,
Used to excoriate you, then ignored
When someone else is rising like the sun
In Iowa.  Contestants, feel no sorrow,
For someone else will take your shame tomorrow.